Dyer Reborn

I was watching Wayne Dyer today on Oprah’s network in the idyllic paradise of Maui.  I have treated much of this man’s later work as simply profit motivated but at 71 and living through leukemia I saw a changed man.  His new book: Wishes is available digitally and in bookstores and in his chat with the beneficent Ms. Winfrey there was just no way Mr. Dyer could be anything but truly authentic.  She has that gift she can discern better than anyone on the planet and although I never really “got” Wayne Dyer before I finally heard him this time.  

Same Sex Marriage

Ask me at the beginning of the Millennium if I was a proponent of same-sex marriage and I would have categorically said no I’m against it. I must say at the outset I am not homophobic in fact my roommate in military college of all places was a gay man and he and I never let his sexual preference keep me from being one of my best friends. 

Let’s fast forward to the present day to the sitting President Barack Obama. He at the start of his administration was not in favor of same-sex marriage and he is a Democrat and Liberal. However in recent weeks Mr. Obama came out saying it should be legalized.  A news story on CNN asked two opposing sides if this reversal of opinion was a flip-flop or evolution. I admit I didn’t bother to listen to the two sides because by that time I had already made up my mind about same-sex marriage. 

Part II Soon 

The Last Goodbye*

Some people have a really difficult time saying they’re sorry. Not I. Being sorry is one of the first things out of my mouth when someone I know or love is not getting what they want from me.  I would hazard a guess that most of the world hates to say “I’m sorry” because either they detest the fact that they might be wrong and or being right gives them that false sense of superiority that some of us need.  

However this is about The Last Goodbye. The word “Goodbye” is the one word I am afraid of in the English language.  There are many individuals that give us tacit goodbyes when they simply stop talking to us which is in effect a last goodbye but we weren’t necessarily aware of it at the time, and there are other more strong minded individuals that tell you right to your face: Goodbye!  I admire those people because they have the guts to let go of something that just isn’t working for them and it takes courage to say goodbye. For the rest of us we hate to lose anything even if it’s something we don’t want.  

And then there are those (not me) that bluff you with ‘goodbye’.  They test your mettle to see if you can deal with them saying goodbye. These goodbyes I have never minded and often I have found they give me a feeling of instant relief. Most times though it’s like the boy that cried: Wolf and they are just pissed at you and say goodbye for effect. I usually don’t believe in these goodbyes as they are only in force for a few moments or a day or two at most.  

I think I’m afraid to say goodbye mostly because it was someone that I loved and I hate the idea that they might be sad or hurt and I feel responsible for their happiness which of course is just a lie I tell myself but I just can’t help it.  I know an alcoholic that once said that life is a series of hellos and goodbyes I guess its time for goodbye again. This alcoholic hates saying goodbye even when it’s the right thing to do.  

*Inspired by David Cook. 

I've Got a Secret*

 And someone’s leaked it.  Inevitably a secret told is instantly not one. We all love secrets and we always swear never to tell a soul however there’s always one person we tell because well what’s a secret if we can’t tell someone. And even though we thought the secret was safe with the one person we needed to divulge it to so too do they have that one person that swears on a stack of bibles that the secret is safe with them as well. And before you know it you have what was a secret now traveling around as gossip and soon you hear your own secret with just a few more details added for spice.  

*Inspired by KE$HA Kiss N Tell 

Subject to Interpretation

Even when things look bleak I find myself feeling not being fully associated with what is just a situation I find myself in.  One moment I could hitch my star to the excitement that life affords us only to be dashed by an uncoupling the next. Sometimes it just information that may bring me good news as well as the not so good but mostly its just my fear that leaves me feeling dread without a script to go along with it.  Happiness is the same because rarely does it have an accompanying verbiage. I remain outside myself whenever I can see that what is, is and this too shall pass.  

A Healthy Love

Is it love that brings me to my feet?  The cliché of love bringing us to our knees smacks of an unhealthy codependency and the loss of self. Don’t get me wrong I long for a love filled with codependence in pull me up energy because we all need a lift at times and if the ardor of love rings with true reciprocity she pulls me up when my flag lilts.

 The delight of love is tenuous especially when the communiqués become sideways glances and dilated pupils.  And the lexicon of: “You should know,” make the ties that bind loose shoe strings that leave us frustrated and resentment bound.  Time well spent is when  intentions are made clear and the result that some of those wishes will be granted instead of a growing silent scorn as our needs not having been met.

Meeting love on my two feet gives me the balance to craft my amorous breath in a sustainable bliss even though swept off my feet is the romantic notion dreams are made of like the white knight for her and twinkle of violet in a brown eyed girl.  I can still enjoy the thrill of love while standing up and wide awake because love in dreamscape inevitably has the white cloud turn black under the weight of life on life’s terms.