What are the qualities of intimacy we share with another human being? What comes to mind first is of course physical intimacy. It manifests itself in many forms from as trivial as casual sex to the deeper intimacies we share with those we love. The act of sex is a gift of procreation but our Higher Power saw fit to attach the pleasure principle, which drives each and every one of us to different degrees at different times in our lives.
In order to commune with another on this level requires a mindset that encompasses all the emotions that are beyond the physical satisfaction our bodies offer to each other. After all making love is but a small part of our day it is the other 96% of our lives that improprieties in our sex life wreak havoc that can leave us with fear, frustration, anger, mistrust and misunderstanding. We need to know all the ramifications the ground rules and expectations with our partner. We cannot assume we know based on the court of public opinion. The assumption of “you should know’ doesn’t hold in the 21st Century we need to communicate with our partner about exclusivity and what constitutes fidelity and what infidelity is. The answer may seem obvious to some but not necessarily.
I heard somewhere the expression that “a kiss is not a contract”. Too many of us assume that once we go to bed with someone we have an instant relationship. Intercourse becomes the blanket we choose to cover ourselves under that claims we now have intimacy with this person. We may have been intimate but intimacy requires a lot more effort than completing a successful sex act. More…
