Just My Opinion

If more people would spend time in the opposite view point taking the other side in an argument they are fully associated with the world might just be a different place. It’s not easy taking the opposing view especially in politics because heaven forbid that the politico on the other side of the aisle just might have strength in their opinion. As Americans we are too perfunctory and dismissive to even entertain the idea that a liberal or a conservative might have something of value to say. 

When I was a boy liberal meant that you were open to contrarian ways of thinking and you were committed to listening rather than judging. As a middle of the roader I feel liberals have become just the opposite of their predecessors and are quick to judge and worse yet ridicule anyone that doesn’t see their point of view. 

Conservatives for their part are too busy railing against the other side as to what they aren’t doing instead of what is being done right. Some conservatives might even exclaim that liberals have everything wrong. 

Truth is no view point possesses all the answers and if only Republicans were required to argue for the exact opposite of what they believe they just might hear what they had been closed off to. And the Democrats   ought to think about harkening back to leaders like JFK and reconnect with what the word liberal truly means. 

When Love Takes Over Part II

The way to a woman’s heart is paved with emotion and a nice physique and good brain help but her mind and body open when a man tries to empathize with his woman rather than trying to understand her. 

Love becomes a sticking point in a man-woman relationship however when the female of the species insists on the premise that “He should just know”.  From a man’s perspective trying to read a woman’s mind is like trying to solve the Rubik’s cube blindfolded. In a movie White Men Can’t Jump (1992) Rosie Perez’s character tells Woody Harrelson that she is thirsty. He like a good BF hands her a glass of water. She says NO that’s not what she wants him to do. What she does want is for him to acknowledge her thirst rather than quench it.  

Men are from Mars and Women from Venus is not just a marketing phrase because how they each perceive communication albeit in the same solar system are still different planets. If a man can become Kreskin and read minds his love will be blissful throughout but since most mortals are not so blessed he will probably be stuck with the plague of asking his lover to confide in him what exactly it is she wants. The solutions that come quick to the mind of man are the one’s to avoid.  

More on this subject….

When Loves Takes Over

You may be in your right mind but then again you might not. Giving up the wheel when you’re used to doing the driving is not an easy thing. Having to trust province to guide you from making illegal turns and navigating instincts in collision is not for the faint of heart.  

How do you know you’re in love though? Is it physical, emotional, spiritual or historical? My guess is that it’s a combination of all four but which one do we trust the most and which one the least?  Usually we lead with the law of attraction first because without the physical connection affairs of the heart simply don’t get off the ground. Not at first anyway. My thoughts are that the chemistry factor of love is just about the most unreliable.  Don’t get me wrong everyone needs the human touch that excites our nerve endings but the truth of the matter is that we can be attracted to so many people but that doesn’t mean a relationship is possible or even desirable. And I am sure there are many stories in the naked city that didn’t start off physical and ended up smoking hot later on down the line.  

Friends first is probably the safest route to a lasting love but when a man hears a woman wants friendship it usually means in his mind that he is the designated utility outfielder unlikely to see much action. I think though that’s where most men go wrong and if they could just be persistent and consistent the more likely that strategy will pay off if he is truly not just out to bed her.  For the woman wants passion but if a man leads with understanding and avoids trying to fix things and just listens four times more than he speaks he’s more likely to build a foundation that won’t topple once the rains come.  

More on this subject soon as the spirit moves me.  When loves takes over.  

Missing the Point

Today I found myself locked in a somewhat garrulous exchange about how I should have shown up for Cycle for Survival. My friend kept insisting despite my thought that charity is a personal choice that it was an obligation on my part to participate in the cause that unites many of us at the health club I belong to.  I tried to explain that for personal reasons I choose to do my part donating platelets for cancer victims. In this way I feel my charity comes from my blood instead of from my pocketbook. I have no quarrel with how anyone chooses to partake in a chosen charity but no one no one can tell me how to do it.  I have explained why I feel Cycle for Survival was not my choice but my friend insisted that I was missing the point. My arrogance was boiling over but instead of letting it scald anyone including myself I held my tongue. 

Maybe I am just too long in the tooth and combined with the fact that I am an alcoholic I resent anyone telling me what I must or should have done. Fact is I have participated in my health club with tremendous enthusiasm especially over the last 3 years. And for anyone to tell me that my absence from that particular gathering was a gaffe on my part seems even to the casual observer overblown. I like to think though that I am open and not closed off to anyone’s opinion but in this case my opinion rules because it’s mine not anyone else’s. 

She's So Mean

 She’s So Mean 

Song and Lyrics by Matchbox 20  

I kn-kn-know a girl
She gets what she wants all the time
Cause she’s fine
But for an angel, she’s a hot, hot mess
Make you so blind
But you don’t mind

Cause she’s an uptown, get-around, anything-goes girl
She’s a hardcore, candy-store, give-me-some-more girl

She’ll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor, and all your records are scratched
She’s like a one-way ticket cause you can’t come back

Sayin’ yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)

You kn-kn-know that if you don’t shut your mouth
She’ll freak out
You better get your shit together
Cause she’s bringing you down, now
Yeah, boy, you better, you better

Cause she’s an uptown, get-around, anything-goes girl, girl
She’s a hardcore, candy-store, give-me-some-more girl, girl

She’s got a wicked sense of humor, can’t believe what she says
She drinks Bacardi in the morning till it goes to her head
And all you want is just to hold her, but she don’t go for that
She has a hard time coming when she can’t hit back

Sayin’ yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)

Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy
She’ll turn the knife into your back and then she’s calling you ‘baby’
Crazy

She’ll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor, and all your records are scratched
She’s like a one-way ticket cause you can’t come back

Sayin’ yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah, and you want her
But she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah, and you want her
Yeah, you want her
Yeah, I know how you want her, but she’s so mean
(You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?

We all know a girl like that or maybe a guy like that. Someone that is ostensibly one to stay away from but fortunately-unfortunately for us we are strangely drawn to.  Could it be its because they are so unlike what we think we are like? Or do they possess those character defects-assets we wish we had or had the balls to lay claim to. 

And don’t we just know that they always seem to be able to get away with it? We say God if we had the audacity to even do or say half the things they do we would have our head handed to us or have our mouths washed out with soap. What is it about them? Is it just their charisma? Their devil may care attitude? Or is it that they just know what they want and they’re not afraid to go and get it? Can we take a page out of their book? That’s the real acid test because if we do dare to be devil may care we have to have the gonads to see it all the way through and not be shrinking violets when the words of protest from those that know and love us will undoubtedly be spoken. We have to be convincing if we ever have any hope of pulling off what we secretly want to be able to. Of course it’s jumping outside the proverbial box but the payoff could be huge. Consider the downside and if you think you’re prepared then take the leap off the diving board headfirst. You know you want to.  

Charity: A Contrarian View

I have been torn about registering for Cycle for Survival 2013 mainly because I think we have lost perspective on why we support this event in the first place. Two years ago when I first went and participated that Saturday morning in Roslyn I was so captivated emotionally.  It was an assault on the senses I will never forget. We were all there united for a cause I frankly hadn’t known about: Rare Cancers. I covered it one of my blogs and I felt great about my donation as I did about being and cycling with many of the wonderful friends I have met because of spin.  

I talked about my feelings with someone deeply involved in this charity and he felt last year it had lost some of magic of the year prior and since I move intuitively it just confirmed what I felt and why I won’t spin this year. No its not about $ because I know that this fund raiser is essential for many people struck with this killer.  My point is that I will continue to contribute in my own way and that is to donate platelets once a month. I know that I am helping cancer patients with no fanfare  while we wait for the cure.  Cancer is not only a killer it’s also a big business and the latter part makes me sad.  For those that are participating I will keep you in my prayers but for me I will just roll up my sleeves instead.  

It’s unfortunate that charities in this country have become a cottage industry and worse yet it has become a competition about who can raise the most money. Everyone has a cause and we feel compelled to contribute to every one of them. It’s big business and they play on our emotions instead of placing more focus on raising funds in a more congruent way. Every time I go to Petco they ask me for a donation off my debit card or you go to Publix it’s the same thing.  Charities become an emblem for big companies too. Those employed there feel obligated to contribute via payroll deduction. Charity is  a personal decision and some make it so public we feel embarrassed if we don’t throw money at the problem. I know charity is essential but there must be a better way to administer money to those that need it rather than all these emotional ploys that leave us feeling guilty instead of feeling good.  

Dark Corners

Some things are better left unsaid is a cliché I used to hear many years ago when I was growing up as a child of the 60’s. We were much more accepting back then keeping things in the dark. We spoke in hushed tones or not at all about anything that didn’t suit what was considered outside the “norm” of human behavior. The 21st Century of course is a world apart where little is left to the imagination in terms of what might be kept private in a dark corner and what isn’t. 

The court of public opinion still using morals of the 20th Century is quick to try and convict those in high places and hold them out for ridicule without a consciousness of what needs to stay private. The media is forever anxious to explore every dark corner of a person’s life.  They gather information often in a scurrilous fashion that is only used to break people down in terms of their stature and then build them back again if there’s a story in it.  

Everyone has a dark corner things and situations that we are either not proud of or embarrassed about. Everybody plays the fool there’s no exception to the rule* as the lyrics to a 70’s song once filled the airwaves. Why are we so infatuated with looking at people especially celebrities in times of distress, in flagrante delicto   or their latest brush with alcohol or drugs? Mostly its because we want to feel superior to those we think have it better than we do. It is indeed a sad state of affairs when we can’t help looking in dark corners. If we looked in the shadow of our own lives we might not be so quick to judge others.  

*The Main Ingredient, 1972.