Charity: A Contrarian View

I have been torn about registering for Cycle for Survival 2013 mainly because I think we have lost perspective on why we support this event in the first place. Two years ago when I first went and participated that Saturday morning in Roslyn I was so captivated emotionally.  It was an assault on the senses I will never forget. We were all there united for a cause I frankly hadn’t known about: Rare Cancers. I covered it one of my blogs and I felt great about my donation as I did about being and cycling with many of the wonderful friends I have met because of spin.  

I talked about my feelings with someone deeply involved in this charity and he felt last year it had lost some of magic of the year prior and since I move intuitively it just confirmed what I felt and why I won’t spin this year. No its not about $ because I know that this fund raiser is essential for many people struck with this killer.  My point is that I will continue to contribute in my own way and that is to donate platelets once a month. I know that I am helping cancer patients with no fanfare  while we wait for the cure.  Cancer is not only a killer it’s also a big business and the latter part makes me sad.  For those that are participating I will keep you in my prayers but for me I will just roll up my sleeves instead.  

It’s unfortunate that charities in this country have become a cottage industry and worse yet it has become a competition about who can raise the most money. Everyone has a cause and we feel compelled to contribute to every one of them. It’s big business and they play on our emotions instead of placing more focus on raising funds in a more congruent way. Every time I go to Petco they ask me for a donation off my debit card or you go to Publix it’s the same thing.  Charities become an emblem for big companies too. Those employed there feel obligated to contribute via payroll deduction. Charity is  a personal decision and some make it so public we feel embarrassed if we don’t throw money at the problem. I know charity is essential but there must be a better way to administer money to those that need it rather than all these emotional ploys that leave us feeling guilty instead of feeling good.  

Dark Corners

Some things are better left unsaid is a cliché I used to hear many years ago when I was growing up as a child of the 60’s. We were much more accepting back then keeping things in the dark. We spoke in hushed tones or not at all about anything that didn’t suit what was considered outside the “norm” of human behavior. The 21st Century of course is a world apart where little is left to the imagination in terms of what might be kept private in a dark corner and what isn’t. 

The court of public opinion still using morals of the 20th Century is quick to try and convict those in high places and hold them out for ridicule without a consciousness of what needs to stay private. The media is forever anxious to explore every dark corner of a person’s life.  They gather information often in a scurrilous fashion that is only used to break people down in terms of their stature and then build them back again if there’s a story in it.  

Everyone has a dark corner things and situations that we are either not proud of or embarrassed about. Everybody plays the fool there’s no exception to the rule* as the lyrics to a 70’s song once filled the airwaves. Why are we so infatuated with looking at people especially celebrities in times of distress, in flagrante delicto   or their latest brush with alcohol or drugs? Mostly its because we want to feel superior to those we think have it better than we do. It is indeed a sad state of affairs when we can’t help looking in dark corners. If we looked in the shadow of our own lives we might not be so quick to judge others.  

*The Main Ingredient, 1972.

12/12/12

I just had to use that as a title because we will never see that date configuration ever again. Something about numbers that’s always-intrigued and  last year gave me my favorite: 11/11/11.  It doesn’t amount to a hill of beans but have you noticed that people aren’t referring to the year now as 2 thousand and something? It’s Twenty Twelve now. I like that better too it just sounds cleaner if that makes any sense. 

Have you ever looked at the clock speaking of numbers and seen the time 1111? I call it picket fence time or its little brother little picket fence time 111?  More silly nonsense but why not we have enough to grieve and complain about in this now the 4th year of a modern day depression.  

It’s less than 2 weeks until Christmas and 12/12/12 reminds me I have done very little holiday shopping. What about you?  

The Forbidden Frontier

Throughout the past 150 plus years or so the push for equality has made some frontiers disappear one by one. When Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves it started a snowball effect that emancipated those restrained by prejudice and human bondage.    

When suffragettes were lobbying for the vote the male of the species scoffed at such an idea. Never underestimate the power of the female because not only did they get the vote they are on the precipice of ruling the world taking the power away from their now emasculated male counterparts.  I never liked Gloria Steinem but one has to admire what she stood for and although she was ostracized at first she has made equality commonplace for women. Some of the tradeoffs for equality have had some deleterious affects for some women and as the old adage goes: be careful what you wish for.  

People of color have had many renaissances since Mister Lincoln changed the map for them. Jackie Robinson more than just a baseball player started the financial revolution for minorities and even though prejudice fought them every inch of the way we have a sitting African American in the White House fulfilling Martin Luther Kings dream speech beyond even his wildest hallucination.   

Gays and lesbian men and women also suffered violence of the highest magnitude. But even after the period of brutality they endured ended they still had to bear the brunt of a deep-seated prejudice and for many years withstood their own version of second-class citizenship. Now that has changed and same sex relationships are accepted without much fanfare and the once outrageous thought of same sex marriage is now favored in this country by a whopping 53%. A thought that was most unthinkable even in the late 20th Century. The sitting President has changed his mind on this subject also. Some said it was a flip-flop. I think it was more like evolution. 

Even on the world stage in 1947 the State of Israel was formed and the phrase: Let my people go fulfilled a dream of nearly 3,500 years ago.  Now the idea of a Palestinian state doesn’t seem a wild-eyed notion anymore. But who is next?  

There is a group we will start to hear more and more about.  Those people both men and women who are devoted to a practice called Polyamory. They believe in the idea that some relationships can include more than one sexual partner. How can this be? Not an easy lifestyle to even cogitate but some doctrines of Polyamory are spiritual in nature. There’s no such thing as clandestine affairs in Polyamory because all partners know in advance who might be sleeping with who (if that is included in the arrangement) and as a result there might be a tad less divorces to add to the statistics.  Even though Polyamory doesn’t eliminate divorce or jealousy it goes a long way in making full disclosure part of every human relationship contract.  The Forbidden Frontier, one by one they disappear until as we as a species live without prejudice.  

Happy Birthday Robin Roberts

This Black Friday  I happened to  catch GMA.  I watched a musical vignette led off by Stevie Wonder singing his now iconic Happy Birthday song. As the music played images of exuberant loving fans including viewers, co-workers and several celebrities flashed signs and sang along with Stevie.  

I confess that I never watch Good Morning America and I know very little of Robin Roberts one of the co-hosts of the ABC show now on sabbatical for health reasons. What did strike me however as the music played was how the tears started to fill my eyes. The reflection of love these people have for Robin Roberts was transmuted across the screen and I instantly felt a connection to this beloved former athlete and TV personality in the faces of those that carry her close to their hearts. 

Authentic emotions are one of the gifts we humans can share with each other and for this human I felt it for Robin Roberts. 

Dick Tracy

Dick Tracy was a detective and like all good detectives, I mean really good detectives they solve mysteries. Some mysteries are tough to solve because there are few clues. Dick Tracy gave me this clue and I pass it on to you. The Butler did it.  

When Will This Ever End?

When will this ever end?  Have you ever asked yourself this question? Of course you have and the truth is that even when we think we are “in” something it’s changing nonetheless. We get so absorbed in the unpleasantness we don’t see we are moving toward a different outcome and creating a new beginning.