The Coxswain

A friend suggested that because I was brought up having 4 sisters and no brothers as the reason being why women more than men can identify with me.  There has always been that nurturing side of me that is stereotypically innate in the female of the species and because my formative years were spent in the company of female siblings exclusively I learned to empathize more skillfully than most males that grew up in a more balanced gender setting. This is not without its problems however as I have discovered more of late. Women are much more skilled at multi-tasking and I although am blessed with creative talent, I do not have that complex adroitness that distaffed humans carry like second nature. I am constantly forgetting everything from where my phone, wallet and keys are. Or I leave the house without articles of clothing to change into after exercise and without a conscious plan I tend to drive ad hoc and that has its advantage of spontaneity however it does not carry the fundamental need for practicality. 

This connection to my anima leaves me adrift because often I feel I am in a boat with no oars and without a coxswain to pilot my course. As a man I need to make decisions to let go of people and situations that deprive me of any peace of mind and keep me locked into people pleasing. When I have to make decisions about what to do logically they usually are much easier for me to make than those that face me when flesh and blood are involved.   Running in place never works for me as in most males we need to see and feel we are making progress even if it is sometimes in circles.