One of the great things about being sober is having the privilege to restore relationships that were broken beyond repair. Such was the case today as I visited my ex-wife to chat with her about her finances. Our relationship did not last as man and wife but maybe we have something that can outlive most matrimonial bonds. We have a mutual respect and regard for each other and that sometimes can get lost in archetype of marriage. We get possessive and start to rely on traditional unspoken agreements that often can pull us apart, like sexual exclusivity or a man being the provider or that the woman will bear children.
Marriage is not for everyone and although we are brought up for the most part believing that it is a lot of people that shouldn’t be married do and that is one reason why there are so many blended families in this and other countries. I know that for me I always had a reason why I got married and at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. However, what can seem like the right thing at one point can disintegrate over time and space. And personally I think that I became unconscious to what my wives needed and more importantly what I needed. I am not here to debate those reasons but only to say that adapting to a spouses style and expectations can often find the other has lost their individuality only to rediscover it later into a field of disillusionment and a feeling of being trapped.
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