Giving in to it. Today I just have to give in. Sit here and write and study be with my two cats and reflect how blessed I am not only to have survived the devastation outside but also to have lasted nigh on 62 years now.
I hate to give in and I hate to say goodbye and that has helped as well as hindered me all my life. I don’t know why I am so persistent or relentless. I don’t think I inherited those traits from my father or mother maybe it was my paternal Grandfather but it makes life for me more like a human doing than a human being. Part of what marks my personality beside my sensitive nature is my enthusiasm. I think I was born with that and my environs gave fuel to the fire within me that still burns bright whether its in a spin room or when I walk about other humans and start extemporaneous conversations that have no script. I love how deftly I can start confabs with strangers and how most respond to me. It’s curious how it works nearly every time. I think its intuition but the more sullen and serious people I love talking to them the most. I lift their day and usually put a smile on their face as well and that gives me Actual Grace and its fun as well.
So today in the aftermath on Capitulation Tuesday I sit and feel that it’s okay to give in to capitulate and not do anything. Tomorrow should arrive just in time for things to do.
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