Have you ever thought what if I had never married her? I never went out with him? I never took that job or went to a different school or joined the Navy? Well I have and it’s quite a ride in the land of permutations and incantations. To start with if you’re happy right now but still have some regrets in your life I’m here to say lose them because without those “mistakes” or “errors in judgment” you might be somewhere else and not living in the house of sublime you’re in right now.
I often look at some of my friends that have wildly successful marriages people like Andy and Liz Lison or a gay couple I know who’ve been together in excess of 50 years. It is a true marvel in the 21st Century when it’s so easy to say I quit this doesn’t work for me I’m out of here. Some people are born to be together they’re like ducks mated for life. Unfortunately for me I was probably never cut out for marriage but I don’t envy their success only congratulate them because they figured out how to solve the rubix cube and at age 66 there’s another factor that I’m faced with. You can’t go back. Next life I tell myself but I can do some things in the present and not fall into the trap my father did like letting his body and mind atrophy with the passing of his wife my mother back in 2000. He finally succumbed in 2014 but that’s not the point instead of stagnation which he fell into I can be part of generativity. Bring light and guidance to the next generation. And hopefully I do that each day. And when God calls me home I’ll get to look at my unlived life in that movie in a seat in Heaven alongside some of the loved ones that have preceded me. If I’ve been good enough that is.
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