Maps

Once you have travelled all over the emotional map there comes a time when a man has to narrow not only his focus but his relational sphere as well. Mine were always like a shotgun blast wounding many with plenty of bloodletting, but I was never responsible for mortal wounds (or so I think) because after I left physically there would still be an emotional string that I couldn’t let go of. This never wanting to say goodbye left women in my life with books still open, they wanting closure, me wanting God knows what.  I think that it was the feeling that they would never forget me.  Now I have let go of all of them except for those that remain immediate in my life. I feel like the surfer who has ridden many waves and finally decides he must sit astride and let even the most attractive swell pass me by. I can enjoy the short journey as if I did take off on it. I know what the ride will be like, thrilling but I can say, I have been there done that. 

Rant II

I was headed into the Yankee game last night and took the LIRR (Long Island Railroad) because I had lost the patience driving, having to navigate the Major Deegan Expressway.  Most of those trips took nearly 3 hours one way, and the drive, which features trucks driving in the left lane, (which irks the hell out of me) has been put to bed at least for the foreseeable future.  But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. 

Taking the train has it’s amenities even though the trip on the LIRR hasn’t changed much in terms of speed, for at least the last 40 years or so, which in itself is laughable when a Communist country like China has trains that travel at 140 mph or in excess of 200 Kilometers per hour. They still punch tickets which absolutely makes no sense living in the digital world we do, with respect to those that make their living doing so. Okay what’s your point?

Ever since some unfortunate riders have injured themselves not “minding the gap” between the train and the platform we have to incessantly listen, (at every station stop) a recording of this warning. Not satisfied with the approximately 15 warnings, we also have to listen to the conductors chime in with this same information. What, we didn’t hear the recording? Enough already, we get it. We don’t need the videos on the TV’s either of a hip hop recording while we sit in the station. Shut up already.

 Where are those recordings to drivers to signal when changing lanes? We never hear that warning. How many more accidents and lives would that save? How many times have we been on the road and watched the sloths who don’t signal or burst out from one lane to the other? I never hear anyone trumpeting this AVISO.  There is no public service program like  this, but we have to hear “mind the gap” a million times. Or that recording that’s on the escalator of that woman who actually tries to play with voice inflection to get our attention. Last night I listened and the escalator was broken. But ho, not the recording. “Look around, be careful." SHUT UP! The same recording has been  playing for ten years.  Why not a recording for escalator riders who do not walk up the escalator, to stay to the right so that those who are moving quickly, a chance to walk and "escalate". This is common practice in England. They seem to have a more considerate nature than those of us here in the States. 

What is it with these warning programs? Who is in charge of these public service programs?  These are well  intentioned, but  American society concentrates way too much on events that hit the newspapers and have public outcry. These programs that affect the very few and are blasted at the public at large, are a waste of taxpayer dolllars that could be better served spent on those that affect the masses, like signal when changing lanes. Oh and those smokers that flick their smoked butts into the street, should be required to sweep a street beginning to end as their public service requirement. 

My New Friend

This past Friday I found myself in the company of Indians. No, not the ones mistaken for Native Americans (of which I am one of) the real version, from India.  The invitation came from a man that I have gotten to know over the past year or so. I watched him performing yoga poses at the gym I frequent. I cannot for the life of me remember what started our communion but as time went by our serendipitous meetings always left me with a deep inspiration that would stay with me for days at a time. It never occurred to me that I would leave an impression with him. When I found that he was going through some emotional upset I started to get to know that this man was not just someone who entered my life to enhance my afflatus. He was a man of substance and breadth to be sure, but I also observed a deeply sensitive human being that took nothing in his life for granted, and when a life disappeared near him he took personal responsibility as if it was one of his own. It was a truly remarkable introspective that is so rare to observe, and he let me be apart of, which was extremely personal. I learned a lot about him and a lot about how it is to revere the life we are given. I have always tried to remain grateful for all the things the Almighty has bestowed on me but my burgeoning relationship with this man helped me see through the lens of authenticity. I have been praying that I bring a congruent heart and mind.  

   I have never before been in a social situation with a group of ethnic people that are so connected to each other in their heritage and yet are so open to those outside their ethnicity. It was truly a singular experience from the first moment until the last goodbye.  The way I was embraced was totally unexpected and I was welcomed with open minds and this was just my feeling, open hearts as well. There really was no secret to it I imagined because if I was welcome in this home I must have crossed a threshold that is    not handed out like tissue after a sneeze. 

My First Impression

There are days when my heart breaks but beats at a normal rate. I have long known that I am a hypersensitive man in an insensitive world where there are people that send mixed messages depending on which side of the bed they wake up on.  I try to give everyone the benefit of any doubt even when my first experiences with them are less than auspicious. So many times I have been wrong in taking this stance and disappointed in the process.  My latest debacle I was complicit in and I do tend to push the envelope, but the other individual in this affair is inconsistent in their attitude on a day to day basis. I promise I won’t make this mistake again. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger and this affirms in my mind that no one gets my respect until they prove themselves first not the other way around.

I will stick with my first impressions because they are usually right and when people that are close to me tell me someone is inauthentic I am going to listen with ears wide open.  I have failed to take my own advice on too many occasions and this last episode will be my last I can promise myself that. 

The Invisible Craft

When I sit down before this window screen, there are no tools, no pre fabricated pieces other than a title that may have descended on me from the heavens. I liken the invisible craft to a precious gift that has been bestowed on me. I have ceased even wondering if this gift will stay with me or leave like an approaching cold front. For now it is here, and I will peck and pound for as long as the outer world chooses to speak through me. 

Radio waves are invisible, and yet through verbiage of the spoken word millions of us are entertained by particles of energy perfectly formed in one place and then dispersed unrecognizable into space and then reassembled into their original form as if by a magical incantation only Merlin could produce.  The invisible craft starts out that way and makes it to our inner voices via paper and ink  

The invisible craft has more power than a locomotive and Superman because the rippling effects cannot be measured by any conventional means known to man.  Horse power, candle power and amperage are conventional barometers that can give us a sense of the force of things in the observable physical plane, but the invisible craft has no calibration only a vibration for those that have their window of perception open.  Sadly because of sensory deprivation we miss a great percentage of transmissions that unfortunately are not contained as a text message. 

Snap Judgment

Snap judgments are great when you’re stepping off the curb and an oncoming bus says get back on the sidewalk. The ideas that snap judgments are natural from a scientific perspective are most certainly true. However, since they are born from the seeds of cynicism, skepticism and pure doubt the plant is dead on arrival before the flower can bloom. When we see someone that does not fit our expectation or pattern of acceptability, we reject that individual without any shred of tangible evidence. We make the judgment from their countenance or from the fabric of their clothes.

We have been ingrained with strobe like indoctrination that ‘different’ when it comes to a member of society trying to rise up gets shot down before they can even open their mouth where the face of their soul lives. When our society sees a minority with a history of betrayal and prejudice, we are certainly there to over react if necessary to see they get a fair and equitable chance at life. That same reaction when that outcast tries to claim equality without any help from us, we shun them naturally.
From the New York Times article, the idea that we create exclusion because it is “inherent in the mind”, is true just like a tomato left in the refrigerator for a month turns rotten. The modern world indeed has increased its collective awareness of prejudices and the road to pre conceived impressions are well on their way to eventual banishment to Coventry. But when it comes down to appearance prejudice lives and feeds like the fatted calf because no one has picked up the mantle that grey hair and a little extra girth around the middle can allow entry into the land of the beautiful and revered especially when it comes to the entertainment world.
When Simon Cowell and his panel of judges and Britain Has Talent audience were panned the same wordless face said, “yeah right”. Prejudice lives. It is just hiding under a different rock, the one of snap judgment. Looks do matter has as much value as the dollar bill because someone says it has value. It has no backing only because someone says so is how we navigate our world. Looks do matter especially when you’re the one looking in the mirror and measuring us with society’s yardstick. We can never “measure up” because there is always someone prettier, more handsome, stronger or more provocative. When the light goes on in the kitchen, the roaches scatter and disperse but it doesn’t mean that the coast is clear and we can keep on believing we can hold onto that prejudice just because we cannot define it ethnically, by race, creed or sexual persuasion. We have to let go of all prejudice lest we halt our journey of total acceptance of those different than us. The idea that it’s ‘okay’ to react with pre judgment would have kept the sitting president out of office and Sean Penn from winning an Academy Award. But wait, that’s different! No my friend, it’s not different, it’s the same thing with a different mask, and I just checked the calendar, it’s not Halloween.

Left on Red

Have you observed this phenomenon? I have many times and there’s seems to be an element of entitlement to the practice. I say practice because you will see it explained away for several reasons. Some might be considered legitimate in the eyes of the risk taker because they are the last on line awaiting the turning arrow, and they just don’t want to endure another interval until their turn comes up again. Then there is the no left turning signal scenario where the driver has to wait for the oncoming traffic to open up to make their left.  When the light turns red, they scoot against the signal as the oncoming traffic has stopped, but it has turned green in the other direction. Today I experienced it with a tractor trailer, because he made his left when the light was clearly green for me. Annoying if you are on the other end of it.  The last reason is can occur when one of the cars with the green arrow is texting or just not paying attention to the light change. This can be the most dangerous when the second car truncates their turn and makes the left in front of the car ahead. A most aggressive practice to be sure and one that can result in an accident as the car in front wakes up or the car in the other direction accelerates once the light turns green for them.  

Left on red. It is an indicator that we are just too much in a rush to go nowhere, because a minute or two added to our schedule is not worth the risk of death.