Kissing Ass?

I have been chastised about going on and on about that gym I belong to Equinox and the members in it. Some say that I am just kissing ass. Maybe I am but that’s not my intention. I do it because I like to make people feel good and if that’s kissing ass than so be it. Writing about people makes me feel good too and some of my critics tell me I have no one to talk to so that is why I write about members at the club. There’s an element of truth to that because for all my gregariousness I am a free spirit, a lone wolf and a solitary man. I have never let anyone get close to me ever since the death of my sister Carol in 1969. Her passing left me confounded in the handling of any relationship.  I am however trying to change that little by slowly. This year in particular some of my friends have invited me to breakfast and dinner and into their homes so I must be changing. In the past I would have declined but now I don’t like to say no because it just makes me feel like I belong.

I used to take pride in the fact that most people didn’t “get me” but now as I let my defenses down and become less obscure I am attracting more humans into my life. God has blessed me with charisma but also with the chains of being enigmatic. That albatross kept me from getting close with my non-romantic relationships. And with a little help from Hercules I am bustin’ loose link by link. 

One Degree of Separation

We all have heard the theory of 6 degrees of separation. It postulates that we are just a few steps away from any person in the world in terms of introduction. I thought how about just 1 degree. One degree of separation between a man and a woman is the one-degree that separates them from a romantic one, sex.  Without sex we are free to love the opposite gender in a very unique way in which there is no agenda. Just think we can have an emotional connection that will probably be more enduring than one that is sexual in nature.  

I will avoid any conjecture as to why sex seems to be the one degree that albeit the most physically and emotionally satisfying of God’s gifts can also be the biggest heart breaker too. But consider a relationship that doesn’t involve the complications sex does and you have the makings of a relationship that can flourish in many ways. The woman in the case of a man can give insights he could never understand and when she says one thing and really means the opposite it’s your female counterpart that can provide you just the solace you need. She can give him an inside take as to why “she” is acting the way she is. On the opposite end what woman wouldn’t love to have a man in her life to help and guide her as to how to handle the confounding behavior patterns of the man in her life. Tell her if this guy is a player or if he’s really serious.  

I’ve been blessed to have a few of these in my adult life and when I speak of 1 degree of separation those relationships help carry me into my life where that separation disappears.  

It's A Man Thing

I’ve heard this so many times it almost makes me throw up in my mouth. However with every cliché there is a grain of truth somewhere. Take emotions for example. Women maybe because of hormones (I don’t profess to know why) can identify every human emotion like we can name every player on our favorite baseball team. I could be accused of prejudice but let’s face it men don’t know squat when it comes to why we’re feeling like crap. We can form a hypothesis surely but as to really what it is that’s bugging us well we’d be more likely to know the ingredients of Quiche Lorraine than what emotion we are feeling. 

One day some years ago I had in a glimpse of what it must be like to be a woman with full cognitive ability. I found myself being angry, afraid and resentful all at once. It was an epiphany of sorts but those moments of clarity rarely present themselves even today. I am relegated to asking my big brain (as opposed to the little one) what’s wrong Jack? What is it that you need attending to? Most times it’s just free floating anxiety made up entirely in my head. I listen to my heart and if I can put my ego aside and listen it’s usually nothing. When it’s a combination of things not just one thing I attend to what I can, accept the changes that are beyond my reach in time or space and when I breathe deep I can distinguish between the two. Often the Serenity Prayer in rapid fire does the trick.  

It’s a man thing however just as we learned to lace our shoes we can do what women do and that is to be a sentient human being even though we are stuck with testosterone. By the way I wouldn’t have it any other way but well it’s a man thing by golly.