I opened an email from a peripherally close friend of mine last night and I was struck by his salutation and comment: Good night my eccentric and charismatic friend. I thought for a moment and realized this was not throw away dialogue. He has known me for over 15 years and has observed and interacted with me on a deeply consistent basis and he knows all too well my strengths and frailties.
Eccentric and charismatic, these two words more than most, if one was restricted to two words to describe me, probably embody my personality better than any other two words chosen with exacting care. Charisma, I have always thought I was blessed with that gift, but just like the word deserve, I am hesitant to use that semantic when I am describing myself. I would prefer to leave that assessment to come from the mouths of significant others that know me more intimately.
Growing up I always thought of myself as shy and withdrawn, but by the 5th grade whenever I danced the twist, I had a huge circle around me, taking in my translation of the dance craze that had swept the nation. The ability to ‘dance’ must have been inherited from my maternal grandfather, because his nickname was ‘crazy legs’. This secret charisma did not appear in my consciousness again until I was 30 years old and could be found dancing the night away at my favorite disco haunts, where I put on my one man show on a parquet dance floor. Dance was the lead in that gave me the present day ability to speak to virtually any stranger in proximity. Instinctively I can enter a person’s world and can engage them in short and lasting confabs as if they were scripted from a handcrafted teleplay. That in essence displays my charisma, except maybe for the energy I bring to the proceedings in any group exercise or at least if I am to believe what I am told by many.
The word eccentric however, is a much more esoteric but nonetheless deeply embedded character trait that runs like an estuary in my circulation. Not something I was readily admitting to myself let alone anyone else. However, as I examine the statement my friend made, I have to admit that it is true. For example, I rarely keep my head where my feet are. That was a phrase I often heard in AA but ignored and continue to ignore no matter how much overt attention I pay to it. The word eccentric by definition says that when it comes to a character trait, it means that a person engages in odd and unconventional behavior. Was there ever a definition that suited me better than that description? I don’t think so! I tend to over think most situations and lend my idiosyncratic thought process to others that never have an inkling to what my mind can conjure up. Eccentric means that I never know where I put things. Some might say that is merely forgetful. Oh no. Why it is eccentric is because no matter how many times I misplace things, and admonish myself about it, I continue to do the same thing expecting different results. This is also a definition of insanity, but I don’t think I have crossed that threshold not yet anyway. I make plans on my social calendar and forget the ones I have made on my business calendar. I cannot seem reconcile that time is time, whether I am engaged in fun or trying to make a living. Eccentric is also what gives me the ability to be charismatic because if I didn’t stand out I wouldn’t be eccentric and vice versa.
My friend said a mouthful, my eccentric charismatic friend. Thank you M.F.
