Sunny Side Up

So often in our rush to ameliorate our loved ones feelings, we try to save them the emotional pain of sudden trauma whether it be from the death of a relationship, a disappointment from something unexpected or just free floating anxiety. We are not the feelings that travel through us even though it might seem that way. We must face the possibility that there will be times when we can’t make things better and we just have to let the eggs fall to the floor and crack. What is surprising is that when that egg does split open it often is Sunnyside up.  

The Great Divide

No matter how well spoken, enunciated and clearly audibly one can speak, the great divide turns words into a whisper with your back turned. What is tragic is that too many times we choose the default setting of leaving things unsaid, when even the most obvious phrases would be the better choice. We can become lifeless and inanimate when it comes to our communicative skills. Silence is not golden but wooden and too easily subjected to the decay that time brings to every relationship that is not nurtured each and every day. There is no time for he said she said, only what we say every damn day!  

Attention and Other Cognitive States

The first stage of attention is called pre-attentive processing stage in which in my case was determining that a stimulus was being presented of letters rapidly floating by in my field of vision.  In other words, I was asked to identify whether the letters j or k could be identified in any given sequence.  The next stage is called focused attentive processing in which I was trying to determine which of the two letters I actually saw.  What seemed to be happening for my test was that I was focusing on one letter, the letter j and I was having difficulty processing if I saw both letters as I could only seem to place focus on one letter with any degree of perceived accuracy. As I point out perceived accuracy because there was no immediate feedback if I was correct or not (Argosy, 2009).

My visual attention was directly affected as the presentation speed varied.  The probability that I saw both letters at the faster speeds rapidly declined.  I was fortunate to see one. In actual fact I was quite pleased if I was able to see just one of the two letters as I have previously stated.  As the speed decreased the probability that I made the right choice increased however slightly.  At the slower speeds my eyes could focus on each image, the converse was true at higher speeds. What it was reminiscent of is watching a stop watch that shows tenths of a second, it is virtually impossible to see each tenth of a second as it clicks off even though each image is present for 100 ms. My notion is that 100 milliseconds is too fast for me to identify each digit in a tenth of a second.  

Feature integration theory which holds that humans have to take time to process letters that are similar dovetails in my opinion with selective attention which had me trying to select the two targeted letters and disregarding all the rest (Argosy, 2009).  Selective attention is the ability to attend of focus on one source of information that is to only see the letters j or k and to exclude other stimuli which for my lab experiment was to ignore all the other letters that were not j or k. Further along these lines is that this experiment required controlled attention where I maintained a deliberate effort to pay attention to the stimulus at hand and ignoring all others or the letters that were not j and k (Ashcraft & Radvansky, 2010). 

Sleep deprivation affects the brain’s ability to function at the same speed and its capability deteriorates quickly.  The brain will work harder to counteract the affects but the concentration levels will drop and memory will be affected and impaired (The effects of sleep deprivation, 2007).

Attentional blink   which in this experiment has asked us to respond to one stimulus and then immediately to another showed that our response is delayed having to identify another event (Ashcraft & Radvansky, 2010). It is common knowledge that alcohol affects judgment and reduces reaction time.  Therefore a high-pressure attention demanding job like air traffic controllers (ATC) requires much more attention than the Coglab experiment just conducted and any use of alcohol or drugs could have disastrous consequences. 

• Argosy University (2009). Cognition and Learning PSY360 UC Module 3. Retrieved September 25, 2009 from http://myeclassonline.com

 Ashcraft, M.H., Radvansky, G.A. (2010). Cognition. Belmont CA.: Prentice

The effects of sleep deprivation, 2007 Retrieved September 25, 2009 from http://www.sleep-deprivation.com/articles/effects-of-sleep-deprivation/index.php

Wandering Star

I was born under a wandering star. I am constantly on the move it seems and right now I am on my way yet again.   Although I can’t seem to find a permanent address, I am blessed to have those that will take me in to theirs when I have dislodged myself from my own.  That attractability factor I possess that blesses and curses me. That has me beating my chest one moment and feeling sorry for myself the next.    I have not given much thought to how those that come into my periphery feel when they are caught in my web and how they feel betrayed when they have reached their expiration date. By the way I don’t always affix that label of expiration, sometimes they curdle their own milk when they leave themselves out on the counter of complacency.  

Sound arrogant? Not really especially if you have never met me. The rub is that I have this unconscious competence when I need to be more conscious of what it is I am exactly doing. My future ex- wife told me that I had the therapist we both had met with wrapped around my finger. When I asked her incredulously: How can I influence a therapist with a Ph.D. in psychology?  Her silent response gave me pause for thought. My former General Agent in essence told me the same thing that I manipulate people with the adroitness of a skilled surgeon. He also added that I know exactly what I am doing and when I am doing it. Enlighten me because I need to harness this ability so that I don’t hurt anyone again including myself. 

So what about this Wandering Star? I think that my shark like swim makes it virtually impossible for me to settle down in any traditional sense no matter how strong the pull or how much I feel compelled to stay in one place.  The only thing that has been a constant in my life is my sobriety, although some might argue that my behavior resembles a drunken sailor at times. For those that I have hurt I say now that I never did it with intended purpose and for those that need some solace I have hurt myself even more egregiously as my legacy just lost an inscription on my tombstone. He was a good step dad.  Well as a footnote I was for a time anyway when I was giving those that didn’t have a family a "home base" as my middle step used to call my space. 

A Highly Charged Emotional State

When we are in a highly charged emotional state it’s sometimes difficult to see and be with the person that is the cause of the anxiety, sadness or anger. In the case of emotionally charged feelings that are pleasant or joyful the presence of that person is heightened as well except for the fact that it can make those sensations misshapen and give us a distorted good feeling that might make the mutuality of feelings a little bit blurred.  

TFIM

Have you heard this expression?  I am sure you have if you’re older than 30 or 40 years old. I like to abbreviate it: TFIM. We actually cannot have true mutual feelings because the degree of similarity to the emotions of the mind is as individual as a fingerprint.  But if we limit them to the named emotions like happiness, frustration, anger, depression, sadness and exhilaration then the expression: The feeling is mutual is close enough.  

No Conscience

My father used to say to me two things that I will always remember and as I reflect back on it there was a dearth of wisdom that he did convey to me.  I do recall these and I shall always remember. He said: Jack there’s no fool like an old fool and an erection has no conscience. Now they both made perfect sense and I never deliberately sought out younger versions of my distaffed counterparts unless they came with an aggressiveness of their own that I could not resist, but for the most part I stayed clear of those that would  find it difficult relating to me in the time zone of life that I found myself in.   Some might quickly retort with that familiar refrain: Yeah right, but it matters little what they thought because my mind did not come from conventional thought and my drums played more like Gene Krupa rather than Ginger Baker. 

And as far as the “no conscience” idea, I also agree with this bit of wisdom because I know that my big brain goes into a blackout when the primal urge takes over. The feeling of desire is one that when properly harnessed is a wonderful force to witness but when the avidity of my libido rears its little head I can find myself in a tempest that usually could have been avoided.  

Worry

Today I start a piece on a favorite topic of mine: Worry. I will do it in several parts so please indulge me as I put it to you over a number of days. He sort of looks like me, well when I had hair. 

How does worry stay alive?  What gives it the breath of life?  Or in the case of worry how does it steal our breath and make it short?  Which leads me to the idea that worry cannot exist for long when we take long deep breaths and let them out every so slowly.  Worry requires that we shallow breathe so that it makes our heart work harder and beat faster.  It likes us to have our sweat glands working overtime.  

Worry is not of nature it is not even of the natural laws of the universe.  It exists solely as a parasite would on the energy that we provide it with.  Why do we need worry is another question that comes to mind.  We need it because…. oh yes it shows us that we care about someone or some thing.  However, I think we think it shows that we care about someone but it is so misdirected because worry means we lack the faith in that person.  It also says that without our worry they won’t be able to take care of it themselves.  

What about when we worry about ourselves?  Like we won’t have enough money to pay the rent or the mortgage, to pay the bills. Does worry ever help pay the bills?  Of course the answer is no and in fact I don’t think worry even pays a living wage even in Thailand.  It is a cost.  Worry is a very high priced expense item masquerading as a do gooder that provides us with some service.  What is that service?  It’s not even a good early warning system as it only takes cues from its first cousin fear.