Kissing Ass?

I have been chastised about going on and on about that gym I belong to Equinox and the members in it. Some say that I am just kissing ass. Maybe I am but that’s not my intention. I do it because I like to make people feel good and if that’s kissing ass than so be it. Writing about people makes me feel good too and some of my critics tell me I have no one to talk to so that is why I write about members at the club. There’s an element of truth to that because for all my gregariousness I am a free spirit, a lone wolf and a solitary man. I have never let anyone get close to me ever since the death of my sister Carol in 1969. Her passing left me confounded in the handling of any relationship.  I am however trying to change that little by slowly. This year in particular some of my friends have invited me to breakfast and dinner and into their homes so I must be changing. In the past I would have declined but now I don’t like to say no because it just makes me feel like I belong.

I used to take pride in the fact that most people didn’t “get me” but now as I let my defenses down and become less obscure I am attracting more humans into my life. God has blessed me with charisma but also with the chains of being enigmatic. That albatross kept me from getting close with my non-romantic relationships. And with a little help from Hercules I am bustin’ loose link by link. 

One Degree of Separation

We all have heard the theory of 6 degrees of separation. It postulates that we are just a few steps away from any person in the world in terms of introduction. I thought how about just 1 degree. One degree of separation between a man and a woman is the one-degree that separates them from a romantic one, sex.  Without sex we are free to love the opposite gender in a very unique way in which there is no agenda. Just think we can have an emotional connection that will probably be more enduring than one that is sexual in nature.  

I will avoid any conjecture as to why sex seems to be the one degree that albeit the most physically and emotionally satisfying of God’s gifts can also be the biggest heart breaker too. But consider a relationship that doesn’t involve the complications sex does and you have the makings of a relationship that can flourish in many ways. The woman in the case of a man can give insights he could never understand and when she says one thing and really means the opposite it’s your female counterpart that can provide you just the solace you need. She can give him an inside take as to why “she” is acting the way she is. On the opposite end what woman wouldn’t love to have a man in her life to help and guide her as to how to handle the confounding behavior patterns of the man in her life. Tell her if this guy is a player or if he’s really serious.  

I’ve been blessed to have a few of these in my adult life and when I speak of 1 degree of separation those relationships help carry me into my life where that separation disappears.  

It's A Man Thing

I’ve heard this so many times it almost makes me throw up in my mouth. However with every cliché there is a grain of truth somewhere. Take emotions for example. Women maybe because of hormones (I don’t profess to know why) can identify every human emotion like we can name every player on our favorite baseball team. I could be accused of prejudice but let’s face it men don’t know squat when it comes to why we’re feeling like crap. We can form a hypothesis surely but as to really what it is that’s bugging us well we’d be more likely to know the ingredients of Quiche Lorraine than what emotion we are feeling. 

One day some years ago I had in a glimpse of what it must be like to be a woman with full cognitive ability. I found myself being angry, afraid and resentful all at once. It was an epiphany of sorts but those moments of clarity rarely present themselves even today. I am relegated to asking my big brain (as opposed to the little one) what’s wrong Jack? What is it that you need attending to? Most times it’s just free floating anxiety made up entirely in my head. I listen to my heart and if I can put my ego aside and listen it’s usually nothing. When it’s a combination of things not just one thing I attend to what I can, accept the changes that are beyond my reach in time or space and when I breathe deep I can distinguish between the two. Often the Serenity Prayer in rapid fire does the trick.  

It’s a man thing however just as we learned to lace our shoes we can do what women do and that is to be a sentient human being even though we are stuck with testosterone. By the way I wouldn’t have it any other way but well it’s a man thing by golly.  

EQ Fit Charlotte Ricci

As to the how and why’s I wound up taking my EQ fit test at 530 pm on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I will not share with you. However suffice it to say that this little experience told me what I already knew but have chosen to completely ignore. I suffer from pretending ignorance that just because I spin like a madman 6 days a week I am exempt from good nutrition. Wrong! 

A young woman with chutzpah approached me about 10 days before and asked me to write about her and in return she would give me a complimentary EQ fit test. At first I was reluctant to say yes for a number of reasons. One was I thought I am above such nonsense, two I like to write as a friend has suggested “organically” as opposed to being asked but somehow an inner voice said: Do it!  And truth be told I have been asked to write so that last reason was hardly one I could cling to. And 3rd I was worried suppose I was unimpressed and had to manufacture a story? Fortunately none of my reasons held water because Charlotte Ricci is an intelligent, passion driven professional eager to make her mark in Woodbury and it was I who benefited most from our “barter” arrangement. 

The young Ms. Ricci I thought was way too inexperienced for this kind of work but her psychology undergrad degree told me otherwise. Her questions were probing but not too personal. I liked that and as a matter of fact her charisma made the queries seem natural. I have always been able to spot a “scripted” pitch whenever I was being sold something but this diminutive dynamo had a silky smooth timber and I dutifully blurted out my obscene dietary regimen. Once I spoke it the gravity hit me like a hammer to the head.  I haven’t been to confession in quite a long time but Charlotte listened intently as I recited my venial and mortal sins one by one. When anyone can get me to open up like that I know their talent is innate. So here’s what transpired. 

I don’t drink enough water despite my best intention. I eat way too many sweets, carbohydrates and late night snacks. The one thing in the last 6 months that has changed is that my lunch over at Fairway has me ingesting fairly healthy portions of vegetables and fruits at least 4 times a week. But this is just not enough and as Charlotte took out her calipers and started pinching at critical spots on my anatomy I realized that I have a long way to go in reducing my body fat and increasing my upper body muscle tone. 

As we proceeded upstairs Charlotte using her various tools was able to determine just how inflexible I was and spotted just from my gait how tight my hips were. She gave me some great stretch techniques and urged me to continue with my dating of the Styrofoam roller and make it part of my everyday routine. I tried it the next day and my aching knee pain after spin did not appear.  Charlotte had me thinking about making subtle changes in my diet and little by slowly the results would follow. Leaving something on my plate was the first step and passing by the Cadbury rack was the second. Drinking more water will be daunting for me because I haven’t been able to stick to the idea that I needed a half-gallon of water everyday but maybe if I did there’d hardly be room for a sleeve of chocolate wafer cookies or two Klondike ice cream sandwiches. 

Have any of you taken this test? It doesn’t cost anything above our membership dues and there’s no pressure to continue with a pack of training sessions. The time alone I promise you will have you making a paradigm shift in how you take care of your body. I know it did for me.  You can rely on your own motivation as to whether or not you hire a trainer. God knows we have employed someone to do most of the chores in our lives why not one to manage our physiology. I’ve gone this far in my quest to attain fitness and Charlotte Ricci has motivated this sexagenarian. Seek her out you can’t miss her and don’t let her age fool you.  She’s yet another star in the Equinox Constellation. 

P.S. 

Mike Ryan is in her corner you can’t ask for a better endorsement. 

Jealousy

Jealousy can drive a man to drink. Well maybe not literally for this alcoholic but it can do a number upside your head. Have you ever stopped to think that when you are in the throes of jealousy that you’re not in love with the person you’re feeling this God-awful emotion about? It’s almost like trying to keep your eyes open when you sneeze you just can’t do it. 

Jealousy is one of the most selfish emotions we are stricken with. Some might say if you don’t feel jealous then you really don’t love that significant other. That might be true but love is supposed to be selfless not selfish. When you’re jealous you can’t see straight and your self-esteem has taken a hit too. Some wear jealousy like it’s a God given right or it’s expected. I think it’s something we have to unlearn. Not easy I know but how can we love unconditionally if jealousy rears its ugly head? Answer is we really can’t because true blue love is pure not laden with hidden agendas, conditions or what ifs.  

Jealousy is most likely instinctual I am not sure what the studies say about it but ask yourself how good it feels when you feel it. Not very good I suspect. We become blind and irrational and we can even say things we might regret later. Jealousy can cause a lot of collateral damage as well and leave us with a broken heart for no good reason.

So what is it that we can do to unlock this ball and chain from our psyche? I don’t know but I do know that it starts with a paradigm shift in thinking. It starts with loving us first. As the old cliché goes if we don’t love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to? Stands to reason if we employ this strategy we might have a chance at taming the savage beast called jealousy.  

David Blatt: 24 Karat Gold

I mean is there anyone in EQ or in God’s creation that breathes like this man? I am sure there are some but to have one in our midst is just pure joy. David is the rare angel that also wears the Star of David on his heart. Regardless of his religious beliefs David is for me a model to aspire to. His words always speak the truth but never pierce the skin. He incessantly makes me feel good whether we exchange a friendly glance or engage in a philosophical discussion. He’s a learned man that’s obvious and every time I see him he brings elegance with every word he speaks. He talks openly about his feelings and is so unafraid, which to me is a rare trait in any human. We are so concerned in keeping our frailties a secret David is open about strength and what’s not so strong. “Very cool” as he would say. 

Earlier this month as I was making my 30th platelet donation feeling pretty good about myself I looked up at the Donor Board in Melville and there plain as day was David’s name with over 150 donations. How incredible I thought. Platelet donations take start to finish nearly 2 ½ hours which is a considerable amount of time to donate as well as the liquid life giving gold the body manufactures. But David never spoke of it before in his exquisite self-effacing style. I love this man. If you don’t know him introduce yourself.  I am privileged to know him. David Blatt is 24 Karat Gold.  

Jessica Capobianco Stanziale: Dionysian Artist

I have had the experience of many massage therapists over my membership span at EQ (dating from April 1, 2003). Most of these artisans were memorable in terms of technique, touch and how deep their individual skills put me into an altered state. 

 But first a little segue. Dionysius son of Zeus from Greek mythology was the god of wine, ecstasy and intoxication.  This symbolizes what massage means to me perfectly.  Through therapeutic touch one becomes intoxicated and enters into a world of feeling and experiences outside the everyday. We in a sense become connected in an “oneness” with the universe.  

To the Apollonian individual (Apollo the other son of Zeus) massage therapy is simply logical and necessary to rejuvenate tired and aching muscles to make them new again. Both philosophies are quite true because massage realigns the damage we do especially we who strive for fitness everyday.  For my part leaning ever to the ethereal side of life massage is severely lacking in my regimen. Maybe just maybe in the massage therapist Jessica Capobianco-Stanziale I find the time and dedication to make this woman my individual instructor in order that I can keep on keeping on in the intense group exercise I so love.  

Jessica recommended to me by Kristen Finello (K2) was extolling her virtues heaven on high. I was a skeptic at first because although most massage therapists are excellent no one has “intoxicated” this damaged physiology enough to make me want a return visit. Jessica changed all that for she is a Dionysian Artist. Her hands are adroit and powerful. She intuitively knows where the problem areas are and reaches in with a deep tissue massage that is truly magnificent. In a way Jessica is a musician and her instrument is the human form.